Ever Nocturnal (Origami Mode)

I was thinking of something to show off to him last night, basin ma-appreciate niya ba. BASIN lang. Not because I'm obliged to do so, but because I wanted to take his mind off school matters a bit. Kaya lang, busy siya eh. When I showed this to him at the start of our Skype conversation, he just smiled. Okay lang. Wala lang. Kiddie unimportant stuff lang naman yan. Carry on.

Gi-research pa naman unta ni nako. Haha. Nya mao ra to iyang reaction. :)

*Sorry for the poor quality photos! Pero cute man siya for me. Syempre, praise your own! :p

Then.. He would take a while to do some things muna.. And when he came back, eto na..


[12:18:58 AM] Jonathan: hon you seem so cold today
[12:18:59 AM] Jonathan: ge nalng
[12:19:52 AM] Jonathan: wla ra oiz
[12:20:00 AM] Jonathan: cold man au ka gud


[12:23:46 AM] Rogean: Hon.. Di man ko cold
[12:23:48 AM] Rogean: :)


[12:26:20 AM] Rogean: I think hon, stressed out lang jud ka sa imo day mao nakaingun ka ana hon..
[12:26:29 AM] Rogean: Di man ko cold.. nagwait gani ko nimo
[12:26:39 AM] Rogean: Then nag tetris ra man ko while nag wait :)


[12:27:03 AM] Rogean: You seem so sad.. is anything bothering you right now?
[12:27:14 AM] Rogean: (h)
[12:27:30 AM] Rogean: (Aside from school stuff)


[12:27:42 AM] Jonathan: wla ra oiz


[12:27:51 AM] Rogean: Smile daw bi kung wala ra jud..


[12:27:55 AM] Jonathan: im just wishing na you'd do something sweet for me
[12:28:12 AM] Jonathan: especially na stressed out nalng ko pirmi


[12:29:02 AM] Rogean: Honey ko.. Mauwaw man sad ta nimo..
[12:30:14 AM] Rogean: Di ko kaibaw kung unsaon ka pagsurprise kay nag-expect na man ka gud.. Pero okay ra.. it's a challenge for me
[12:30:19 AM] Rogean: :)


[12:31:07 AM] Jonathan: naa lng man gud times na gnhan pud tawn ko na feeling nko pampered ko nimu
[12:31:17 AM] Jonathan: though dli man kaayo na xa mahitabo gud


[12:31:59 AM] Rogean: Awwwe, pasenxa hon.. My fault. Guilty.


[12:32:08 AM] Jonathan: ok ra hon oiz


[12:32:15 AM] Rogean: Don't feel bad na hon, please?


[12:32:17 AM] Jonathan: mas maayo nalng pud d nalng ko mag expect


[12:34:03 AM] Rogean: Kajut lang hon
[12:35:36 AM] Rogean: Senxa na honey ha?


[12:40:11 AM] Rogean: Hon.. I want to see you happy unta karon.. Pasenxa na ha? Good mood man ko gud. Ganahan unta ko i-share nimo ang akong mood pero I don't know how.. I tried to make something sweet for you, pasenxa lang kung wala kaayo sad nimo xa na-feel as sweet..
[12:41:14 AM] Rogean: I don't even know kung napansin nimo akong kindergarten effort to make you smile. :)
[12:42:06 AM] Rogean: I understand man nga you have other stuff to do.. so okay lang..


[12:43:15 AM] Jonathan: lyk wat?


[12:43:32 AM] Rogean: See. Wa jud diay napansin. :)
[12:43:45 AM] Rogean: Hayyy. Sige na lang. :P


[12:44:05 AM] Jonathan: nag update ko skng resume gd
[12:44:16 AM] Jonathan: para print nko 2morrow
[12:44:28 AM] Jonathan: wla nko ka study nya mag take2x ko exam sa air phil
[12:44:37 AM] Jonathan: nya daghan pami lakwon ugma sa gco
[12:44:55 AM] Jonathan: ga problema pko unsaon nko 2 pag audit 2morrow sa kulang before mag deposit
[12:45:35 AM] Jonathan: pero sa tinuod lng na disappointed pd ko gamay nimu hon


[12:46:02 AM] Rogean: Expound. *I was taken aback.


[12:46:10 AM] Jonathan: kung uban man gud tao mu request nimu especially kad2ng sa prof pic kay automatic
[12:46:14 AM] Jonathan: campaign diretso
[12:46:31 AM] Jonathan: pero wla pa gyd ko kta nag prof pic ka para nko
[12:46:55 AM] Jonathan: pero cge nalng
[12:47:01 AM] Jonathan: kailangan man ka mu give back d ba


[12:47:18 AM] Rogean: Hon, wala bitaw ko nag-profile pic, pero nag-album ko nga para imo ra hon..
[12:47:46 AM] Rogean: So okay, di xa enough.
[12:48:34 AM] Rogean: Sorry, siguro wa nako nagets imong point hon..


[12:48:37 AM] Jonathan: sorry hon
[12:48:59 AM] Jonathan: kaybaw man pud ka nko na d man au ko tig tnawan sa fb gud
[12:49:41 AM] Jonathan: sorry hon
[12:49:44 AM] Jonathan: drama au ko ron
[12:49:49 AM] Jonathan: sa stress rani hon


[12:50:04 AM] Rogean: Kahilakon na kaayo ko hon.. Sorry ayu


[12:50:10 AM] Jonathan: i feel lng gyd na kailangan kaayo tka hon


[12:50:23 AM] Rogean: I feel absurd.


[12:50:30 AM] Jonathan: nya d ko kaybaw mu express skng self sa kadaghan sa akong g huna2x
[12:50:49 AM] Jonathan: nag patagad lng ko og maayo hon
[12:51:03 AM] Jonathan: im so sorry honey ko


[12:51:12 AM] Rogean: If normal siguro ko na girlfriend noh, ganiha ra siguro ko nasuko kay wa nimo napansin kaayo akong origami..
[12:51:33 AM] Rogean: But yeah, it's just something small so I understand. :)


[12:51:34 AM] Jonathan: oh my God!


[12:52:10 AM] Rogean: what? okay ra man hon..
[12:54:18 AM] Rogean: Sorry kung di kaayo xa dako na something hon ha?


[1:02:20 AM] *** Call ended, duration 1:22:45 ***

Actually, dinidibdib ko pa rin (slight!) na he told me he was disappointed with me for being not too sweet, for being cold. It's as if wala na talaga akong ginawang tama. Ouchie. But I understand. He was too preoccupied about much more important stuff. Everything he's doing is for the future. 

Okay naman kami after. He explained naman. Yet, the sting is still here. It'll be gone in the morning, anyway. :)

Denise for 5th Year Batch Rep!

That's Czarina Denise Gonzaga Co.

Czayna, Yna, Denz, Denise.

Go for 5th Year Batch Rep!

I think the time has finally come for this lady to run for a student council position.

Perhaps you guys have seen her already roaming around inside the campus. She's kind of a loud one, sometimes. She's funny, she's sweet, but she's no ordinary human being.

She has been with KAAKBAY, Katilingban ng mga Aktibong Kabataan para sa Bayan, since first year college, and to be honest, she's one of the most prided members of K. My opinion, yes. Everyone else's opinion, yes.

Denise's efforts, along with the efforts of the other members of KAAKBAY, have made K better. She's not even an officer of K, recently, but she saw to it that she would never let K down. She's always there when K needs her. She helps K with all she can do.

Now, if you doubt how KAAKBAY has become a much better, MORE mass-oriented and mass-inclined organization that is willing to help the people, then I think the next few photos would be enough to show you.

And here are some accomplishments and activities by the K members! :D

Proud to be K!
Service with a smile.

KAAKBAY: K Service Saves the Day

14 Minus 2 Minus 12 = 14-2-12 = CANCEL OUT?

Valentine's Day.
Single Awareness Day.
Love Day.


Simply, Tuesday. :D

Kami na ang may masayang Valentine's day.

 :D

Date with the NHE!

[ Pansin ko lang, sa dinami-dami ng occasions, sa Greenwich talaga tayo laging nagse-celebrate. Ano, suki? Hahahahaha! ]

A Letter I Wish You'd Get To Read Again After 20 Years

(January 31, 2012) 


To the man I love the most. 


     The breeze of January is filled with romance and its coldness makes me shiver. Tomorrow, it will be February, there'll be love and more love. Oftentimes the rain would pour down heavily and I would find myself longing for you. Don't blame the weather though. It is not the reason why I want you, why I need you, but it actually makes me feel that I should really be with you because I love you, nonetheless. 


     I can't avoid feeling jealous when I see lovers together during mass. There always seems to be a spark whenever they look at each other. Who could ever miss the meaningful smiles they paint on each other's faces? However, behind that leap of joy that I feel for them is the loneliness inside me, knowing that I am alone and you are still somewhere out there. 


     My love goes to you as my mind wanders away and imagines how perfect we are as a couple. How we think alike, how we miss each other at the same time, how we text each other at the same time because we already miss each other. Oftentimes, I find myself scribbling notes, or spur-of-the-moment thoughts, well, they are more of like poems for you, poems about my great love for you, poems about this love we share, and even phrases or quotes from the books that I have read and movies that I have seen. As you know, I am a self-praising blogger and some may think that my words just come out as easy as my tactless brain stitches up the sentences of my heart. I hope you know that the words in this letter are carefully thought of, and drafted twice just to achieve the perfect message I want to convey to you. 


     As I mention poems, here's a part of Ludwig van Beethoven's The Immortal Beloved Letters which I'd like to share with you: 

 "Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us... 

 Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits... 

 No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves... 

Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men... My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once... 

Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. 

 Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours." 

     Absentmindedly, as I look out of the window, I would search for words as perfect as that and I came to ask myself if I deserve someone perfect like you. I am not perfect and you know that. Far, too far from perfection, that is me. I cannot promise you a paradise nor a castle, neither the stars nor the moon. I am a dreamer, too, more like reality deemed taboo. Well, who else isn't ambitious? I once dreamed that the man I love will propose to me in a carriage of white horses, or as simple as being kissed under the rain. Funny thing about dreams is that they make us cling onto something, they make us strive and get hold with whatever we have so we can attain whatever we want in the future. But here's the thing, my piglet, seasons may come to pass and years may swiftly go, but the love that I feel for you will surely never fade. I even wondered: How can I describe this love, or is this love even possible to describe? 


     I know this is stupid to say but I am really not sure if I have to or should publish this one. It kind of feels awkward. Well, you are out there and I am here. I am not even sure if I could ever match and surpass the frequency of your thoughts on me from time to time. You see, there are billions of people around the world and seven continents, but I am here in my bed, unfortunately waiting in vain for my graduation day to come, the day that I will finally see you again. I am not even sure if you will be able to appreciate this little girl's craft of imagination. However, I am not losing hope that one day, we are bound to meet again and stay in love in each other's arms until our last days. 


     The moon is now slowly casting a silver-like light around the city, setting all those underneath it into a stunning view. And as the city lights emerge out of nowhere, so is my love for you. 


I love you, honey ko. :)
Happy 3rd month to us!

Confused Friendship

There's a part of me that tells me NOT to write about this, and another part of me tells me it's okay to spill it.


It's not that it's such a big deal, I'm just confused why so suddenly, people who I thought were part of my comfort zone have started to turn a cold shoulder on me. And honestly, I have no idea.


I think it's best that I don't name names, since I don't want this issue to really get big. The reason why I'm writing this is just because I NEED an outlet on the mixed and mismatched moods I'm trying to juggle.


This is about a former classmate whom I've gotten close to for a while last year. I remember, he used to share to me about his tragic love story. I don't know what happened, really, why he suddenly started to act weird. As far as my memory brings me, I spent my week long vacation during October 2011 with THEM. He was with us there when his friend wanted to visit me at home. He was there when his friend treated me at an eat-all-you-can restaurant. He was there during my first and second tagay session with our batchmates. And then I don't know what happened. He started talking to me rudely, even publicly, when we converse, and also on facebook. I would admit I'm hurt, and that I never thought he would do such thing to me. Friends man kaha mi? Diba? When he suddenly unfriended me on facebook last December, my ego was hurt, so I decided not to add him back. And now, just a while ago, I found a friend request. It was him, so I accepted it. I thought we were okay. Until..

GOODNESS. I don't even know what wrong I did to this guy.

Money, I Need You. :|

Dear Money,


I know you're just somewhere. I kinda need you for PI100, Investments class and AdCamp, so please come to me ASAP. My salary is quite insufficient for all these stuff, and I'm going crazy thinking where I could find you.


Love,
Angelee. <3


P.S.
I'll be patient.

Our Second Month

[Eto na. Ang proof na ang cheesy-cheesy ko na talaga! Waaaaaa.]


My text messages to my Tatan.
03:43:24 AM


Happy 2nd month to us honey ko..


I'm not really good in telling people how much they mean to me, but in our case, honestly, nag-effort ko. Haha. Congrats to me. :P


I hope you bear with me kay medyo daghan ko'g ganahan isulti.. :)


(Though plan ra pud ni nako isuwat sa blog. Haha. Or kung di ka ganahan, ok ra pud.)


Good luck sa imong inbox hon. :p


Ok. Here it goes.


Hon, thank you. For so many things. Thank you for sticking up with me even if daghan kaayo ko ug reklamo and personal opinions sa mga random things. For telling me that I'm pretty bisa'g yagit jud kaayo ko'g nawng ba. For telling me I'm special..


Thank you for trying to explain to me anything and everything pud. Especially sa akong mga questions nga out-of-the-blue. Ug sa akong mga personal issues. Ug sa mga mental battles nako..


Thank you for always being there for me. Sa pag remind nako nga mu-kaon jud. Sa pag care..


I love you honey ko.. I wouldn't be this contented kung wa ka naabot ug nanamok sa akong life. Hahaha. :)


2 months na ta hon.. Actually, I'm not expecting too much from this relationship. Ganahan ko ma-surprise na lang ko one day, ni-abot na diay ta ug pila ka months, even years. Nindot siya huna-hunaon gud.


Life's a short term thing, but would it be possible if pang long term ta? YES. Probably. We'll work it out. :)


Pasensiya lang ka usahay kung medyo di ko sweet ha? Mura'g nawagtang na man gud akong gift with words, or maybe mas maayo ug mas sweet lang jud ka.. Though it doesn't mean nga dili na lang pud ko magpakasweet. Haha!


And pasensiya pud kung di ko tig pangasaba.. Hmm. Though wala na man pud ko'y dapat ikapangasaba. You're masunurin man gud. Bisan wa jud ko ni-ingon nga bawal mag-smoke and mu-inom, but when I said nga di kaayo ko ganahan, you tried to change..


Plus ang imo pagtuman sa ako request nga if okay lang na magpahibaw ka if mag-smoke ka, it meant a lot to me. Do you know nga karon ra jud ko naka-feel nga nindot man diay ang feeling nga naa'y mananghid nako, and naa'y mag-agad sa akong approval (permission, I mean)? Awesome. Heart-warming. :)


Do I sound bossy already, honey ko?


I'm kind of at loss for words, hon. Dili kaya ma-express sa text, sa blog, sa tabi sa phone, ang love nako para nimo. Yes, long-distance love. A bit difficult for both of us. Maybe things would be different if we're together, but my being far from you doesn't make me love you any less. Please keep that in mind. :)


Haha. Just so you know, I'm not drunk nor sober or something. But if sending you 7 long messages (3 parts each) isn't normal, then probably it's that 200 mL Coke I drank before I slept.


I know I'm a bit weird, hon, pero mas weird ka. 'Coz you embraced my weirdness with open-minded gusto. And I love you more for that. :)


Or maybe it's my playlist on the background that's stimulating my thoughts about us, about our love, and about this whole new world you brought me to.

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there."

I want to be there for you pud, hon. Through the good and the bad. Through the happy and sad. I want to be with you. Is it just wishful thinking?


Ambot na lang jud, hon. Haha. Puno na gyud na imong inbox, pero wa pa ko katunga sa akong gusto i-share.. sa akong nobela.


Hug na lang ko bi? Pwede ra?


*Virtual Hug!*


Sige, hon. I'll crawl back under my (our) covers now. Mag-ilusyon na pud ko balik nga gi-tandayan and gi-hug tika while I sleep. Hahaha. Mwah! :*


I love you very much, KING of my heart. The sweetest dreams for you! c:


[partly kasabot na ko sa ka-cheesy sa akong parents, kay murag nagsugod na pud ko'g ka-cheesy dah. Hahaha.]