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Friday, May 27, 2016

Letter 005: Confused Self

May 28, 2016

Dear Confused Self,

Two years ago, you sounded happy and ready to take on the world with your new life as a young mother. You still are, but not as happy. Or maybe it's just the PMS and some unreleased tension that's talking right now.

You've been through so much at 24. Your friends just started living out of their parents' house, some just got married or are on the planning stages of their dream wedding, some have become managers, and others just are still exactly as they've been since college graduation. But you, you've always chosen roads less taken.

Sans all the debts you have to pay, I'd say you've gone a long way in your career. I am proud of you.

Now eat whatever you are craving for. Prepare for dysmenorrhea.


Unstable and emotional self. ♥

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Letter 004: The Long-Lost Teacher

April 02, 2014

Dear Third Grade and Fourth Grade Teacher,

You may not expect this, but I've been trying to look you up on social networking sites eversince I heard about your unfortunate leave from the school. Friendster, Hi5, Twitter, Facebook, chatrooms, etc., and I've even Googled you every once in a while to see if your face or name would pop somewhere. Nada. I've been asking some people about you, too, but it seemed as though nobody really knew where you went after.

I've heard of the stories, and of the rumors, but I really can't put two and two together. I've had graduated a bit earlier to really be up-to-date on what had been happening. My Nanay used to fill me in with details, but I have a feeling she doesn't know the entire story, either. My brother would just nod at me, and then complain about the teacher they replaced you with. Not helping.

It's been, what, 10 years since we last saw each other? I bet you still have my first Chicken Soup for the Kids Soul that you borrowed and my Tweety Bird coin purse that you actually wanted? Hopefully so, since I've had a rough time explaining to my Nanay why I just easily gave it to you. It has been quite a while. They said you transferred to a rival school. Some said to a public school. Another said, you married a foreigner and had seen you happily pregnant at that time. I'd usually spend an entire night browsing and typing different variations and spellings for your name, in case you changed it or you might simply had been converted by those Jejemons lurking in the creepy, dark corners of the web. Nothing beats the bad vibrations I feel everytime I see those alphanumerical versions of common words and phrases. Nothing.

But still, zero. Not a piece of new information about you all these years. Really, where are you now? It doesn't matter anymore what happened, especially if it had been a bad experience, but what matters is a reunion with you and my batch. You'll be surprised that you're probably giving most of us some three hours' worth of lecture and sermons. We'd be okay with that. We just want to see you again, and keep in touch afterwards. A little visit from time to time won't hurt, will it?

Hope you stumble upon this, and know immediately that it's you I'm referring to. Hope you still remember me, too.

I miss you! I've got loads of stories to tell you, and I'll even give you a teaser of how my current lovelife flourished. *wink*

Hope to see you soon!

Love lots,

The Once Cute Cry-Baby Student You Teased About Not Having A Promisory Note And Not Being Allowed To Take The Exam ♥
(I got the highest score for that test, mind you!)

Monday, March 31, 2014

Letter 003: Befriending an Ex.

April 01, 2014

Dear One and Hopefully Forever Only Ex,

Happy, uhh, third year break up anniversary!



You probably know this already, but I honestly thought you were only pulling out an April Fools' prank when you dumped me. Hahahaha. Yes, for real. But we're over all of that now, correct?

This letter probably doesn't really mean anything, and I hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to hit on you. Yikes. We don't want that, eh?

So yeah. We're already friends again. And cheers to us, especially me, since I'm no longer acting as the bitter ex-girlfriend that I was during those times when I was still single and you having broken the Popoy-Basha Three-Month Rule. I know. I admitted that already, and I actually am grateful for having experienced that. It does feel really good to look back and see myself acting incredibly childish for having hacked your Facebook account and copying a few exchange of "I love yous" with your new (now current) girlfriend. I still have it, by the way, in case I'm gonna need to blackmail you so you'll help me with something not related to our past. Yes, I'm evil. Hahahahaha. Things like that could come in handy someday.

Well, stay happy! :)

Stay corny, and just always be a better version of yourself if you can. I'm still a friend, and as weird as this sounds, I'd like to be friends with the current love of your life, too. I'm not so sure about rules of exes, really. But know that I'm thankful to have you as a Kuya.


Good luck, God bless.


Your Really Weird Ex-Girlfriend Number X Minus 1

Letter 002: Nhe ♥

March 31, 2014

Dear Nhe,

Five years and incrementing, we've been close at heart. We've had our fair share of fights, fears, eye-rolling, teasing, and... eating.

I know, I know. I'm getting sentimental again, even though it's not necessary. Duh. You're not used to that yet? LOL.

Well, alright. I miss you. Happy now? I miss our rampahan, dress ups, eating, malling, window shopping, ukay-ukay, eating, overnights, case studies, eating, movie marathons, wala lang dramas, outings, sale escapades, eating, planning what to wear, dividing tasks, eating, and, again... eating.

Life was simple for us, but extremely fun. I never really expected us to be this solid even now, despite the distance. Manila, Taguig, Cebu, Mandaue, Aklan, Guimaras. Whaaaaaat? So where's our point of intersection? Nyehe. Corny. That's fine. We're supposed to rule the country one day, right? I'm thinking of moving somewhere in Mindanao to complete the LuzVisMin. Joke! No way for now.

I can't wait anymore for May 25th to come! I'm soooooooooo going to see you all again, and I'm pressured na. :p

Just come, okay?

See you all soon.


Nhe Roj ♥

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Letter 001: Letter To Self, Before Anything Else

March 30, 2014

Dear Self,

Let me start with this advice: You can push yourself hard, but don't push yourself too much.

I know, right? Self advices are oftentimes always the hardest things to follow. And more often than not, without the discipline, we tend to do exactly the opposite of what we tell ourselves.

Yes, you have looked back and seen life get torn to bits and pieces, and yet, you wouldn't budge. Not an inch, not until you finally see your life in constant progress. Despite all the hardships, the heartaches, the tears? Despite all the achievements, the victories, the blessings? Perhaps you haven't really budged for a long time.


You've been pushing yourself here and there, trying to get things done in the quietest way you could. Less hassle in having a few people know what you've been up to. And yes, there's a lot to be thankful for. It has been just less than two years since college graduation, and others may not know it, but you've done so much. So much that you can probably die in peace right now if your time is up. But as usual, you'd probably say back that it's all not enough.

Okay. Whatever.

You have a lot of plans on your mind that you can't sit still and wait for the right timings. You'll probably just push yourself too much, anyway. So for what's it worth, just enjoy your future bumpy rides.

I love you, Self.

Just don't forget to step on the brakes when you need a break. :)


Me. ♥

Saturday, March 29, 2014

100 Letters for 100 Different People - Personal Challenge

I'm back. And I'm going to start my 2014 entries with a challenge: to write 100 letters. This won't be an everyday thing, but I wish I can finish all 100 letters within the year.

I'll try as much as I can to not mention names, but I hope someday, somehow, my letters will reach the people they are written for.


Ready or not, here I go.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Random 03-10

March 10, 2013
Those scary early-morning-overthinking moments.

What is it really between us? 
Love that you couldn't live without, 
or simply just a comfortable feeling between confused lovers? 
What are we? 
Are we still the same young couple very much in love with each other? 
Or are we just two broken souls trying to pick up and glue the pieces back? 
Are we still us, 
or am I already a gang of one? 
Tell me. 
I need to know.

It feels so nice that you're there, 
trying to be sweet, 
and caring, 
and thoughtful. 
But is there still anything beyond that?

I am disheartened. 
It is at this time that you are supposed to let me feel that I am still the ONE, 
but all I get are your words of matter-of-fact insensitivity 
that we still cannot tell what lies ahead of us. 
Why the hell are we even together 
if we're not going to try to push ourselves to make it work? 
Why let fate decide what happens to our lives? 
Is everything about us simply a matter of chance? 
Don't we want us to last?

Monday, May 13, 2013

To The Girl Who'll Never Know This Poem Existed.

December 17, 2011
4:00- 5:15 pm
My Room

Small world, isn't it?

Who'd have thought
we'd get to know
the same people, the same faces
at different events in our lives?

Who'd have known 
we'd be walking
around the same circles, 
through the same doors,
at one point without us recognizing it?

Who'd have imagined
that we'd love
one same guy,
and be loved as well,
by him?

He loved you in a different era,
where love was pure, and innocent,
and aggressively true.
He is loving me in another,
and we are both terrified, and cautious,
though we know it is equally real.

Yet then, my thoughts about you
float amidst my melancholy -
piercing through my core of longing
for the man who brought back
the light in my shady present.

I know he loved you,
truly, beautifully.
For all those years,
and those women he bedded,
still, within him, it was only you.

You are a highlighted segment in his life.
His love for you has become
the basis for his love
to all other ladies in his life.
Including me.

I am aware, inasmuch as I could see,
that he wants me to know,
and to prove to me,
that he'll show me more love
than the love he'd shown you,
the love you failed to see.

I appreciate his effort.
But could it be possible
that there'll be no YOU in the picture?

I cannot be not jealous
when he talks about you
in a caressing-like tone of voice
which brings my mind to a scene
of you held by him
like a fragile glass sculpture.

I am confident that I am loved,
but please,
I don't want to be compared.

Let your past with him be a different path,
(I did not say "forgotten")
And my present with him be our own journey.

You loved him, he loved you.
Now he loves me, and yes,
I love him, too.

And so,
for the whole ttime
I have been talking to the wind.
Because I wouldn't want you
to know about this poem.

You are long gone,
long separated from each otherr.
And I have admitted to myself that I am weak,
and I can be insecure.
But that's it.
There's really no point in telling you this.

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